its funny how it works, how we choose to keep out greatest fears closest to our hearts and everything else that's positive but somehow unknown to us furthest away. it's like we've somehow became an ignoramus of our own welfare and thoughts, feelings. strange, how everything associated wid failure seem to hold a significantly greater influence over us than our compliments. we've become victims of our own feelings and thoughts. how stupid it is, we've become trapped in our own spiritual quicksand, everytime we try to squirm free we are sucked in deeper. thinkin it is easier to give up rather than pushin ourselves on, unknown to us that success acheived at the end of the say overrides everything else that is sustained during the whole process. sure, it is from the failure that we learn and become a better person to our own standards, but why do we choose to keep living in the past, where not everything actually went according to plan, and how we let out past gravely influence our present and future. no one can move forward while looking behind, that's just a diaster waiting to happen inside of us, within us.

its even funnier, how failure in love gets us down, it's a feeling unexplainable to everyone. undesirable, how we are prevented from moving along with life because of these failures in love. the person you love may be furthest away physically but closest to your heart, unknown to them. it's like a fire burnin in your heart, and the only barrier which keeps this flame burning is the person you love. sometimes the person may choose to turn their back on you and extinguish this flame, and all of a sudden, your life crumbles and you feel like the world has collasped right before your eyes. suddenly, everything sems sober, black and white. it's as though you're in an enclosed room without light. you search for it to lead u out of the darkness but there's no such thing and soon enough the air becomes thinner and you die. in reality not physically, but mentally and emotionally. it robs you of your life , because you are so deeply wounded by the one you love. its like you wich you just die right there, because everything in life just seemed meaningless all of a sudden.

but, suddenly the flame is ignited once more and you feel that all is not lost. the person tou love seems to care, after all. but this could be the best thing that has happened in your life, or it could be the greatest decerption you'll ever face. deep inside, you know that although that link between you and the one you love has been restored, somewhat miraculously, the problems don't end right there. but who cares, love blinds. it can either give warm your heart tremendously or it can bite you right in your face.

its amazin how i pull thru the whole 4 yrs. at one point of a time during sec 3 i thought i'll remain there. its weird and stunning how it could be the last day of school and u dunno wad hit u. its the last day of sch and the start of the study break till O's. well well. im gonna stop rantin on and on abt studies.

prac was okae. chemistry was practically giving away marks on the observation part. was it 10 marks? think it was. and im dumb alright. not to do the graph. aww. got one of the part that i tot i didnt noe how to do right and i didnt write it down. ain't that stupid of mi! at least i'll get a few marks. forget it. its over. focus on the comin papers.

wad do i wan now. i'll add more if i can think of more. hahas

• pass the freakin o's
• get a fone instead of this lousy samsung one. i wan a flip one! LOL
• things to get better
• watch death note
• a tv wid holes to plug vcd player
• go tanning!
• go shopping. that's a gal's job. HA
• to clear this list. hee =)

there's a princess in every girl. yupp. i agree wid this statement (:(:

i wanted to write the long long blog everyone wrote in their blog. namin out everyone. but cant seem to complete it. so it'll keep it short and sweet. to the six of us. jessie ningsi siaowei jean and fen. i got to noe u guys better thru recess. well. fen and jean bah. cos jessie and ningsi are in the same class as mi. siaowei is in volleyball. the times we go out to shop. to bowl. i'll rmb them.

now for the clique. even though im not really close wid some of u. i still find u guys really fun to be wid and enjoy the moments wid u all. this group of ppl are the most crappy ones i ever known. hahas.

next the volleyball gals. i noe im not there regularly. regretted this greatly. but i really am happy to noe u ppl. its the sport that bring us all together. we started out not even abit united. but we ended up bondin and became really close. the games we played together are unforgettable. no matter wad. lets play together someday again.

whether i get to graduate this year or not. i'll not forget u guys! study hard for o level. its the last exam for us and we'll truely graduate and move on.

hold on together ppl. this is the song that was played on our graduation day. enjoy!

went to k box yesterday. sang alot. lol. so long didnt go out wid eelin xiao jie le lar. so busy now ps us le. lols. didnt go sch today again. hahas. think going tml. mock exams are so boring. hahas. how to concentrate wid the hall so hot and stuffy. lol

after doing my coursework for straight whole 15 hours. its finally done. thank u sooo much amilia! she helped mi alot alot. if not for her i think i'll still be doing. and she managed to finish her's today too. whoo! three cheers for her. hahas.

today didnt went well. horrible day for mi. havin a splittin headache now. thought of very much worse things to do to myself but didnt do it. i'll see my mood later i guess. if its still horrible. maybe a little pain or seein red liquid will help. HA.

enjoy ppl. i finally found the song i've been lookin for sooo long. the ghost of you and me by bb- mak =)

time really passes soo fast. graduation is here. omg! like huimin said. we'll miss the class. miss secretly eatin in class. usin hp in class. maybe even ms kaur confiscatin hp from us. ha. all the laughter and fun. recess wid the six of us. cuttin queue when buyin food. chicken rice. curry chicken and so on. hai. so not lookin forward to graduation. how i wish time can stop right now. even our ugly seven buttons sch uniform we're gonna miss it. nvm. we're gonna try to let this remainin one week to be one of the most memorable week. and definately gonna study wid u guys for o level.

hai. alrdy sick for three days. gotta recover quickly. hope i can go sch tml. my result sucks. dun feel like knowin the rest of my subjects. ha.

ohh gosh. feelin so unwell now. why a fever out of sudden. think all the sickness accumulated and came at one go. well. how to describe how im feelin now. in pain but not actual pain as in u got hit or somethin. overall its just terrible. wanna sleep. but cant sleep. no energy in mi now. thank goodness the last few papers are tml. hope i'll be well enough to do them well. think a sorethroat is comin too. shoo! go away...

ohh yes. choices are made by us people. no one can force u to choose somethin or go which direction. one of the most afraid things i hate to do is to make a choice. ppl close to mi will noe how im like. till the very last min. i wun be able to be make a choice. one thing is. afraid of regrets. afraid of gettin hurt or hurtin others. i had many regrets now. one is my studies. another one is volleyball. hmm. there's no point lookin back cos u cant make any changes. so now. i wish to make my decision wisely in wadever i do. no regrets are allowed. this is just somethin i wanted to blog for quite awhile. it popped into my mind just now. so here it is. tada.

here to blog again. tml's maths paper 2 and core geo. hope i can pass them. ate choc just now. its so nice. hahas.cant eat too much. if not i'll fall sick before i finish my exams. hahas. nth much to blog bout. think i'll update tml again. hahas.

best luck to ppl out there =)