how come life is so fucking hard? so complicated?

i slept for almost 20 hours today without eating without nth. almost wished i will just sleep on forever without waking up. i'll still be sleeping if not for my mum nagging mi to eat. even with the noodles place in front of mi. i have no appetite at all.

fuck my birthday. i have no fucking mood to celebrate my birthday. at least jessie called mi just now asking if im free on mon. that lifted my mood a little bit. thanks gal.

fuck my brother. all the things he said are just to get us off his back. just like someone. saying believe mi is just to get mi off his back. that is worse den lying. no matter wad i've always trusted.

hope i''ll get cancer like ak and leave this world. so it doesn't matter whether i get into poly or not.

and nvr ever believe in promise. i heard so many and in the end they're all broken. one was broken during the period of time ak was being hospitalised and one now.